Be A Man
by gemini69
Summary: A songfic based on Inuyasha's choice between Kikyou and Kagome.


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_Be a Man_

I stood staring across the endless fields of the Feudal Era. It seemed as if I was the only person alive, but I knew that Inuyasha was standing there with me. It could have been a beautiful moment if not for what was preying on my mind.

_The world is quiet,_

_like there is no one around, _

_but I feel you beside me._

I knew that he was fighting with himself about Kikyou and me. I couldn't understand it though. I had known for a long time that he was still in love with her, that he had never stopped. I had stumbled across the two of them many times during our journeys together, but it seemed as if he felt guilt for loving her. I don't think I will ever understand why he was fighting with his heart.

_I know the secrets, _

_you keep locked away inside, _

_don't understand, why you are fighting. _

I knew that Kikyou was worthy of him. After all, I _was _her reincarnation. They had been torn apart by Naraku and they both deserved a second chance at the love that they had once had.

_I know, she must be special, _

_this new girl by your side, _

When it had first started happening I had tried to see in his eyes if he loved me as I loved him. Now I know why he always seemed to have trouble looking me in the eyes. His eyes could never lie to me. Inuyasha would always love me in a small way but his heart belonged to Kikyou and I knew that. Now was the time to let him go. Our journey was over. The Shikon jewel was whole again and in my possession. I had one wish and I knew what it was, but I needed Inuyasha to do one last thing for me.

_I seek for answers, when I look into your eyes, _

_And he turns, so i can't, but I will be strong. _

I turned and looked at the hanyou that I had fallen in love with. He was perfect to me, just the way he was. I would never forget him, but it was time. "Inuyasha." He turned and my eyes connected with pure gold. For one moment I almost forgot what I was about to do. Almost. "I need you to tell me." At his confused look I began to explain. "You have chosen. I can see it in your eyes. You may not want to admit it to yourself, but I need you to tell me. Please." His eyes widened in understanding before he turned to face the horizon again. I prayed that he would tell me. I needed the closure of hearing it from him. It was the only way that I would heal without scars and I knew that.

_For once in your life, be a man, _

_just tell me the words, _

_'cause I know that you can, _

_don't leave me with scars, _

_that no one can heal. _

_For once in your life - be a man. _

It broke my heart to watch him now. I remember the day we met as though it had just happened. There had been something about him when I saw him pinned to the God Tree. I remember feeling truly safe for the first time. I had known in that moment that I would fall in love with him and I had not been disappointed. Now all I wanted was his happiness, even if it meant not being with me. I just wanted the chance to say goodbye.

_You made me love you, _

_love you right from the start. _

_You're controlling my heart, babe. _

_Don't pack your bags yet. _

_Give me time to say goodbye. _

_(Say goodbye.) _

_Just don't leave me wounded. _

I had tried to fight for Inuyasha's heart but I had just been no match for Kikyou. He would never stop loving her and I knew that. I truly loved him with my whole heart and that was the reason that I had to let him go.

_No, I just hope you will regret the things you do _

_Come back to me, _

_'cause our love is the real thing. _

_And he turns, so i can't, but I will be strong. _

"Inuyasha, please. Just tell me. I know that you can."

_For once in your life, be a man, _

_just tell me the words, _

_'caus I know that you can, _

_Don´t leave me with scars, _

_that no one can heal. _

_For once in your life - be a man. _

I watched him turn to face me once more and braced myself. I needed to hear the words from him even though they would hurt.

_I knew that I, _

_I fought to keep our love strong. _

_If you leave me now, _

_you come running back for more, babe. _

"Kagome, I.." He trailed off and glanced away as though wishing that he could run, but I knew that he wouldn't. My Inuyasha had finally grown up. He was ready to open up and be loved again, just not by me.

_And I hope for, and I wish for, _

_and I pray, that the words from your mouth can, _

_eventually make you a man. _

_For once in your life, be a man. _

_When everything stops..._

_...for a minute in your life, _

_I'll hope that, _

"Kagome, I love you, but..." He sighed and his bangs flew up to be caught by the wind. I finally had a perfectly clear view of his eyes. He looked so hurt and I almost wanted to take it back. I almost told him that he didn't have to tell me.

_For once in your life, be a man (be a man). _

_Just tell me the words, _

_'cause I know that you can, _

_Don't leave me with scars, _

_that no one can heal. _

"I love Kikyou. I always have. It wouldn't be fair to either of you if I didn't try to see what could have been between us. I need to see where she and I could go even if it means going to hell with her." I nodded and looked down at my palm. The Shikon jewel shown brightly in my palm. I circled my fist tightly around the small jewel and whispered my wish. A light flashed from my palm and when I opened it the jewel slowly dissolved into dust.

Inuyasha stared at me wide eyed. "Kagome, what have you done?!" He jerked forward and grabbed my palm to inspect the dust that now sat where the jewel had been. I looked him in the eyes and smiled. "I have made my wish, Inuyasha. Please, don't take it for granted." With those words I turned and headed back into the forest. As I reached the tree line Kikyou emerged. She stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. "Thank you, Kagome." I simply nodded and continued on my way.

_For once in your life - be a man. _

_Be a man. _

_Tell me the words. _

_Once in your life. _

_Be a man. _

_Tell me the words. _

I looked back one last time to see Inuyasha's face light into a smile and watch him pull Kikyou into an embrace. I had wished for Kikyou to be alive again. I wanted to give Inuyasha the chance to find love. I smiled at the happiness on his face and turned towards Kaede's hut.

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_A/N: Okay. Traditionally I am not a Kikyou/Inuyasha fan. I've always been partial to Kagome myself, but this song seemed to have a life of it's own. It is my first Inuyasha fanfic so please tell me what you think. I can accept constructive criticism but please no flames. So leave me a review and tell me if you liked it or not. If you didn't tell me why so that I can try to get better at these. Bria_


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